When I lived life a little harder in my youth I took it upon myself to begin smoking cigarettes. Now with Rottenführer Doyle's new plan to jack up the tax another couple bucks, and the spreading anti-public smoking hysteria, I think it's time to find alternative ways to get my recommended daily nicotine intake.
Tobacco users Jim Rockford and fatherBack in the day it was cool to smoke. An ashtray filled to the brim with soiled cotton butts, and it's tavern-y aroma was a welcome addition to every coffee table. You could get a light anywhere, not that you'd need one - free matches came with every pack. 
Ah, the olden-days. Now smokers are viewed as vile scum, to be banished from participating in our society. We stink, cough and hack through life, contributing to global warming with our excess CO and CO2 emissions. Spreading cancer throughout the land with our exhaled particulates we have caused hurt and devastation to many.
Ah, the olden-days. Now smokers are viewed as vile scum, to be banished from participating in our society. We stink, cough and hack through life, contributing to global warming with our excess CO and CO2 emissions. Spreading cancer throughout the land with our exhaled particulates we have caused hurt and devastation to many.Amtrak, whose percentage of riders who smoke exceed the national smoking average, has taken their "Smoking Coach" equipment off-line to convert back to baggage coaches. Smoking is now only allowed at certain stops, service points where they re-crew, refuel and water and some of the bigger stops where they check baggage. I chogged a couple down in the john on my Christmas trip and then told another smoker about it... he ended up getting busted by the conductor (and to his credit didn't fink on me). So that was the end of that.
Since I am going to be spending so much time on the train, and because smoking is such a disgusting habit, I am going to take up chewing tobacco over this trip. When I get back, I will no longer be addicted to cigarettes. No more smelly clothes, stained fingers, disgusted looks from passers-by. And all of the money I will save!
So far I have been directed to a long-cut like Beechnut or Redman. I am not sure what the ballplayers use, I was disappointed to find out that Big-League Chew is actually some sort of kids bubble gum. I have a free sample of "Kodiak" from State Fair a few years back. Copenhagen has tiny pieces of glass in it, I am told, to better facilitate delivery of precious nicotine into your mucous membranes. All of these are very interesting. I am told I will also require a 2-liter bottle to discreetly contain my juices.
If there are any chewers out there, please advise.
Even R2D2 is quitting smoking!
2 comments:
Yeah...I do the chew thing sometimes mainly because I don't smoke in the residence (no I’m not admitted anywhere). You'll learn how fast you throat will dry out. Trying so swallow some "uncontaminated" saliva, to ease the burning sensation, is always a treat. Cope would have to be my weapon of choice, Cope Straight Long Cut to be exact. It's not as harsh as the regular cope...pretty smooth. I’m in the process of become smoke free. It’s a long process…it’s been taking about 10 years now but I think I making some good progress. After getting addicted to Nicorette and Nicoderm I found it cheaper and easier to smoke. Funny I read this blog…today I went to my doctor and he filled a prescription of Zyban or the more cost effective Bupropion (after finding out it was $90 less at Serv-U). Insurance didn’t cover any of it; apparently they don’t want their customers to stop smoking. At any rate…Bupropion is a quitting aid actually discovered on accident. Originally developed to treat depression they found that the patients quit smoking while taking it…still depressed. I say…the hell with chew. You can live with one lung. You wouldn’t want to live with one lip (I don’t think your morning coffee sweetheart would acknowledge you). They claim about a week on the drug and you will absolutely no cravings. Get the stuff man.
forget the chew and quit. I have been off the stuff for about 5 weeks now. My best attempt by far. Colorado has a quit line funded by a tobacco lawsuit. They sent me a month of the patch. I used all of them and they sent me another month of the lower dose. I have skipped a few days and it hasn't been an issue. Give up the addiction!
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